Maybe I’m a presumptuous snob-beyond-repair, but I suspect that women who don’t have many dates rarely cancel dates. They welcome the opportunity to get to know someone new…a “potential.” Perhaps their date nights are so rare that they don’t even have a pre-date routine. Maybe they just put on some lipstick, smile and do their best. I almost envy these women…almost.

I, however, have a pre-date routine that would give Allen Iverson a run for his money. Gym, shower, Ting Tings (to remind me everything in life is done for fun), Lily Allen (to remind me that guys are mainly idiots), Kanye West (to inflate my ego). I sip champagne while I fuss over my make-up applique. For at least forty five minutes I pour over my wardrobe, chatting on speaker with my team of consults on the following subjects: How late is acceptable? (Because I will be late.) What not to ask? What not to wear? What is an acceptable excuse to leave early? Usually, I go back to outfit number one, take the Velcro rollers out of my hair and listen to Music is My Hot Hot Sex and finish my drink.

Or I cancel. While some women might think of this as missing their “chance,” I know another “chance” is scheduled a few days from now. No rush. No stress. No worries. If my pre-date routine is interrupted - even if from my fatigue - I am not a happy camper. No one wants to date a disgruntled dilemma lover.

Cause to cancel often stems from poor scheduling on my part. I normally don’t schedule first dates on weekends, but sometimes I am so busy a Friday night is my only option. Day of I realize I do not want to be seated across from Mister What’s-His-Face on Friday night while the people surrounding me are cocktailing with their friends. I do not want to be restricted to first date attire. I want to wear jeans or a spandex mini dress. I want the dancefloor.
Writing about men and dates all day can leave me drained of the mental energy a first date consumes. Other times I just I don’t feel like sharing my evening; so I wiggle my pretty little way out of it. Sometimes I reschedule, but other times I don’t.
Date canceling is a luxury only a prolific dater can afford. But is consistently canceling dates rude? It’s not like it’s the same person…although sometimes it is. Why the increase in cancellation s? Am I lazy? Bored? Confused? Selfish? I used to think that as long as I was honest and nice about it, canceling was fine. However, my cancellations have become ever more frequent leading me to believe that maybe I am just a spoiled rotten dater.

Emma Dinzebach

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