Last week I asked the guy I’m dating where he had his money saved. He isn’t from the U.S., has lived in several different countries, and assuming his funds are heavily foreign-invested, I wondered if he had fared any better than me.

“I don’t have a savings,” he replied. A loud brake-like screeching sound signaled me to halt, but I quickly reassessed the way I phrased the question.

“No I don’t mean savings account, I mean your saved money. Is it invested here or how does that work when you live so many places?” I inquired. Without turning to look at me he repeated his original response, and I had a mini heart attack.

Upon relaying the story to my brother’s girlfriend, she spoke of her friend who moved to Australia with her boyfriend.  They both had above-average jobs with above-average incomes, and all was peaches and cream until tax time came around and she discovered that he spent every dollar he earned. She, for the record, had a retirement, money market and some sort of special education savings for her unborn children’s college or herself if she decided to go to graduate school. Well, this girl had already up and moved down under, and she was in love. She ended up explaining that he needed to start saving…today. But what if you aren’t in love with someone, and find out they are a non-saver. Is the relationship worth saving?

My gut reaction said no and here’s why. I earn a meager income as a freelance writer. It’s not enough to move even though I’m jonesing for a new apartment, and sometimes I have to eat ramen noodles. (If you add garlic, red pepper flakes and a touch of paprika, they’re actually quite good.) However, I regularly add to my 401K and money market account in hopes that someday my kind father will match it and I can put a down payment on an apt for me and my pooch. Or maybe I’ll save it for a country home or a vacation or a proper education for my children. Regardless, I will have some money saved for something I value and planned for.
Lack of savings signifies lack of planning for your future. Perhaps, said beau has yet to create an image of his future and consequently cannot visualize what he would be saving for. Maybe he didn’t have years of parental heeding or tutorials on the various ways to save. But he is a smart man, and I am 99% sure that his lack of savings has more to do with his lack of intrinsic motivation and ability to delay satisfaction.

A few skipped dinners and a Saturday night in here and there really add up, and are worth considering for people who have personal goals that require money. Part of these goals might be the creation of a life or lifestyle for your future spouse and family. It doesn’t mean you are going to be married tomorrow or father a child tonight, but if eventually you would like a kid, then saving for them and your life with them is important to do now. This fellow wants a rustic beach house, five kids and to live on a ranch in Montana someday. Unless he’s holding onto some Aladdinesque fantasy, he might want to get saving.

Failure to save some scrilla in and of itself is not a dealbreaker, but lack of any direction or planned-for goals, to me, is. In the end, I realized that he doesn’t have attachment to a single material possession - not even a framed picture of his family - because it allows him to get up and move at any point. Although he has lived in New York a couple years, he hasn’t fostered a close friendship, and he has a strong aversion to the word “boyfriend.” Apparently he doesn’t save anything - people, things, money - and that likely signifies something even greater. Attachment theorists?

For me, I’m realizing that my dealbreaker list is due for a revision. The small trivialities that I originally assessed as dealbreakers are actual signs of something deeper. It’s the somethings deeper that are actually the dealbreakers. But that’s another story. Stay tuned….

Emma Dilemma

Perhaps it’s my Type-A personality, or perhaps I’ve seen one Oompa Loompa-esque lady too many emerge from a Mystic Tan session, but I have little tolerance for underperforming self tanners. The tint must be natural; the scent must be non-chemical; and the ability to prolong must exceed the expiration date of my bottle of soy milk.

If cream rises to the top, then so must a hazy copper that’s mimicked only by a timeshare on an island. St. Tropez self tanner, $33 at Sephora, is hands down the best self tanner I’ve used, period. Venerable strangers approach me in the street after just one application to ask if I just came back from vacationing in Mustique with Diddy. Okay, so they don’t ask me that, but I do get a lot of compliments on how ‘healthy’ I look. The key with Saint Tropez is patience. You’ll need a pair of plastic hospital gloves (avoid latex if you can), a ratty towel, and a good two hours for thorough application and sufficient drying time. Available in a foam (my favorite), spray, mist, gel or liquid pump, Saint Tropez is not for the beginner. I repeat, not for the beginner. While the result is second to none, a rushed, novice application will prove fatal to your social life.

Origins The Great Pretender, $18 at department stores, is, like our sunny own Miss California, first runner up. The coverage is creamy and effortless and leaves behind a cool, minty scent; its major drawback is the subtle shimmer built into the formula. Loyal TVC readers will know that I’m not a fan of shimmer or sparkle in body products, unless it’s on a 5-carat Harry Winston ring. The good news is that any remnants of a life lived on the Yellow Brick Road will wash off in the shower and leave behind a Jamaican-me crazy hue. The bad news is that it won’t work if you’re aiming to be out and about within an hour post-application. While Origins hits a home run with this product overall, avoid using it on your face. No one likes a disco ball head.

L’Oreal Sublime Glow moisturizing mist, $9, is a build-a-tan product that takes the cake for gradual tanners and self tan novices alike. I find that one application every three days is enough; applying a self tanner every day (as the bottle recommends) will leave people wonder if you’ve been plugged into an electric outlet. Unlike the St. Tropez and Origins tanners, this spray goes on clear. Bonus: it won’t rub off on clothes. Yikes: since you won’t be able to see it until the magic self tanning chemicals do their job, generally about an hour to two after application, any posthumous mistakes will be hard to fix.

One of the biggest complaints I hear of any self tanner are the not-so-sexy Orangina spirit fingers that are the unfortunate by-product of going sunless. Using a pair of plastic (not latex) hospital gloves will do the trick, as well as wiping hands clean with a wedge of fresh lemon. If you’ve got the bucks to spare, I highly recommend the St. Tropez self tan remover, $16, a miracle in a pump which also exfoliates hands to a glove-soft touch.

Like Michael Jackson once sang, ‘Don’t stop ’til you get enough’ – but do wear your sunscreen.

-Karyn Polewaczyk

There’s nothing quite as frustrating as the quasi-menopausal temperature shift that inevitably hits the East Coast each and every spring. One day, it’s 75 degrees and sunny and you’re ready to call out sick to play Frisbee in the park; the next, you’re bundled in a scarf, gloves and cursing the decision to live in a venerable winter wonderland 9 months of the year, wondering if those Floridian retirees are onto something.

When wearing white before Memorial Day is not an option and Ugg boots are out, what’s a lady to do to get through the wacky weather spell that blesses and curses New York City until the last week of June – when, undeniably, it will become so scorching hot you’ll have no choice but to indulge in Tasty D-Lite at regular intervals?

Like a good friend who reminds you to keep on working for the weekend (and those delicious roofdeck cocktails at the bar at 230 5th Avenue), The Vogue City presents its list of transitional wardrobe pieces that will not only carry you from spring to summer, but may even make you appreciate the hot and cold spells that are more sizzling and icier than the ones you give to your ex-boyfriend, twice removed.

-A lightweight cashmere cardigan is not only great for layering under a crisp poplin blazer, it also pairs well over a bikini at the beach. Just make sure to shake out the sand before you return to the office.
-A pashmina – or any big, comfortable and oversized scarf – doubles not only as a wrap over black tie cocktail dresses, but looks fresh when twisted into a necklace substitute with a tube top.
-Knee high leather boots – the same ones that got you through last month’s snow squalls - will keep it kicking until the end of April; pushing them into May is questionable. Proceed with caution and be forewarned that such a decision will leave even an Adidas-clad street meat vendor scratching his head in bewilderment.
-Ribbed tanks layer well under just about anything and everything and are an absolute staple from January to December.
-Moleskin pants and skirts – also known as faux suede – are heavy enough to block a gust of chilly wind, but light enough to give your gams room to breathe when the mercury rises. Switch to seersucker or a three-season wool blend come June.

Other items – a twill trench, peep toe flats and a penchant for bargains – are year-round staples that get the green light no matter what the weather. Just don’t blame us if your boss discovers you’re “home with a head cold” while shopping on 7th Avenue.

-Karyn Polewaczyk