Mid-December, I brought this dude we’ll call Evan (who I stopped seeing because he wasn’t funny…like at all) to my friend Sanchez’s Christmas party. At the time of said party, we had been casually seeing each other for a couple months. (I was also seeing another guy who had met Sanchez the previous weekend, and she said: “I like [other guy] better.”) Anyway, shortly after the party I broke it off because even three martinis couldn’t get me jazzed over him. No hard feelings. Some people just aren’t compatible.

The holidays passed. Relaxing family time and old friends completely distracted me, and if I weren’t a relationship column writer, I would have forgotten about both guys all together. (Turns out the other dude was way neurotic and several people were concerned that we might produce unattractive offspring.) Resolutions and goal setting swirled in my mind and dealing with a guy, for once, seemed far off my radar. Sanchez and I were making good on our “sweat once a day” resolution with mid-week Vinyasa when she looked over from her downward facing dog and whispered, “Did I  tell you who sent me a Facebook message asking for my phone number?”

“No! Who?” I whispered.

“Evan!”

“AIG Evan?”

“Yep!”

“What???” I demanded. I planted my right foot and moved through warrior one. “Are you serious?”

“Yep. Doesn’t he get that we’re friends. Hence the reason you brought him to my party?”

I split my arms into warrior two and exhaled. What is wrong with dudes these days? Forget chivalry, we can’t even get common courtesy. There are a million women in this city (actually, there are more); he can’t find one that I’m not friends with? Asking out your ex’s friend is poor form and rather unbecoming. I dont’ know why I have to write on such obvious rules. Maybe the rise of women’s independence is making men desperate…or even obsolete. Kidding. My love for the male species gives Marilyn Monroe a run for her money. However, just like you don’t dip your pen in company ink, you don’t date from the ex pool.

Emma Dinzebach

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